Since coach wasn't around and my dad's in town I didn't go for soccer AND THERE GOES SIM GIRL.


How trivial, that. Anyway been going out quite oft with different people and of course that small spot of teaching. How I love life right now. Well, almost.

Weekends was a lot of bumming around like the lazybum that I am becoming nowadays goes without saying how much I slept too. There's the feeblest attempt on my part to clean&clear my boxes full of redundant papers screaming to be recycled. Mum says she'll get me a box that functions as a seat and a storage. In other words turn the mess into a neater mess. Oh i don't know.
And blinds, she plans to get blinds for my room and my brother's so she don't have to worry about how dirty the curtains will get etc. All to save cost in the future.
How nice.


My papers all run out and a new notebook is in order. Got one from Prints and PEOPLE PRINTS ARE HAVING SALE NOW. I got my notebook for 14$. As compared to their original 20$.

Of late I've been renting movies and watching them until the morning; And the movie that made me cry (teared, rather) was actually a documentary. Nanking's the title. It's good.


So even if I didn't go soccer (and didn't get to see SIM girl) at least I was compensated with a nice day spent with very delightful company. Went Harbourfront for lunch then since didn't believe me how cheap Mustafa can get (and with all the time in the world), I took her on a tour there. The difference between Mustafa price and outside price on a particular watch she wanted is 43$.
Don't you love Mustafa. The ck watch I've been eyeing for quite some time cost less than 200$, whereas they're selling at 235$ elsewhere.
I can be Mustafa's spokesperson. Was actually the first time I walked around Mustafa with someone who isn't blood-related and it was surprisingly fun, being silly trying on funny slippers/shoes and ridiculously huge hats.
How cute :D :D :D :D to today.


Not making sense.

So Adel was happily on the phone with me when she announced that M had F1 tickets for them to the grandstand OhmyGod I'm greeeen with envy.


Anyway I forsee rebound girl (christened BoatGirl) on the way for best friend.
He REALLY makes me have no faith in males.


"If you were hot and a little tweak to the attitude it be sweet"

ofblack&white
11:20 PM

Take away my pain, leave the cold outside.
Please don't let it rain, don't stumble at my pride.

Take away my pain, I'm not frightened anymore.
Just stay with me tonight, I'm tired of this fight.
Soon I'll be knocking at your door.


I was standing by the edge of the water.
I noticed my reflection in the waves.
Then I saw you looking back at me,
And I knew that for a moment
You were calling out my name.

You took away my hero,
won't you take away my pain?



Take away my pain, leave the cold inside.
It's time to let it rain,
There's nothing left to hide.

Take away my pain, I'm not frightened anymore.
I'm learning to survive,
Without you in my life,
Til you come knocking at my door.

ofblack&white
11:18 PM

How awesome that today, I got a pair of brand new birkenstocks for 50 dollars.

How awesome that today, my (at the moment) favourite person Nur Afifah Ariffin found me a polaroid camera at 69$.

How awesome that today, I played soccer and actually feel good.

And how awesome that TODAY, I had just snippets of conersation with that SIM girl and she was the first to wave back when I said bye to the SIM group.


Whoot whoot and my season 3 is done with downloading. Season one, please don't fail me because I need some stupid humour.


(Al and Dana were playing roles)


(Alice comes out of the toilet dressed as a fe-sailor)
Al: Captain Stubbing!
Dana: (Loss for words) You look... BEAUTIFUL!
Al: Oh Captain Stubbing thank you! (steps closer to Dana) Oh Captain!
Dana: (grabs Al's hand and place it at the crotch)
Al: Ooooh Captain Stubbing is there a periscope in your pants or are you just happy to see me?!


Haha fucking hilarious. Alright, shower and watching Elizabeth. Yesterday CJ came over to watch The Holiday and you know a movie's good when you can watch it over again without feeling bored.
Jude Law rocks.

ofblack&white
9:46 PM

It felt like Hari Raya, Christmas, Deepavali, Chinese New Year, Hanukkah, and all your festivals rolled into one today.
It's a good day baby.

Except for the part I had to travel to AMK at 8am that quite put me off. Quite some laughs at Vincent's and after his endless raving about The Dark Night I gave in to temptation and watched it just now at Vivocity. Mr Man met me there and typically when I'm with him I'll eat more simply because he eats a lot, and he's as skinny as a rib. We wanted to go for Gold Class for that movie but sadly it's sold out so we took commoner's GVMax theatre. Never mind babe we try for Gold Class next week ((:

Anyway The Dark Knight's fucking awesome. Mindblowingly, in both storyline and effects (the sounds are phoarrrr). Oh just now when we saw our apple crumble coming we were grinning like Cheshires when suddenly the waitress turned around. Talked about dashing hopes of early desserts. Was a good day spent with good fun loving company and he sent me home.

THEN my parents, not knowing where I went, suggested we all go Vivo for Earle Swensen's dinner, which was my lunch. Bla I swear one of the waitresses gave me a little smile. We had earthquake. God all the food that was stuffed could probably feed me for a week. Sigh.

AND my bro had to tell my dad (who is by no means a huge pond-fish enthusiast) that Bibik Nini has a pond that someone gave to her for free. Headed down there and of course Aqil Tisya Paman Bik and Aunty Nora&family-imported-from-Aussie were there. And horror of horrors my dad says if all goes well, the pond will be a new addition to the family. What the fuck please! It's almost twice deeper and bigger than the old one COME ON I DON'T NEED MORE OF THOSE.
While the men talked Tisya and I looked through the shoe racks. Bik wanted to give me a pair of red crocs, which I am NOT interested at all. Wonderful though, her feet used to be my size (when you're old your feet either shrink or grow broader) and since she fed Tisya steroids when she's a tod (her shoe size's 10 please) she gave me a pair of nice classy heeled pumps and a pair heeled sandals (which I decided to not disclose the brand in case some of you might want to saw my legs off and steal those beauties). God talked about being over the moon here.
And Paman gave me a badminton racket. Now I have two functional rackets (: Can play with anyone now hurrah!

Ah, so lovely to see them all, and SUCH a great day spent. I love!

P.S: More crazy lipsmackers!

ofblack&white
12:51 AM

I am, yet again, glued to the computer (or rather eBay), looking out for good-buy bags which sadly, was snapped up faster than you can say Marc Jacobs.

I REALLY think I need to open up a new blog to moan about love, lust, and anything in between (HUGE LOL TO THAT).
Na, actually just a place where I could verbalise my appreciation for both men and women. I am not shy about it, it's (as usual), all about people and their claustrophobic (I managed to spell it right!) little minds.

So if you ARE just that, please go to other websites like this one.


Anyway I woke early enough for my morning spell of badminton on Wednesday with Mima and Azizah (some acquaintance from soccer, who happened to be Mima's senior). Mary Mary quite contrary, she looks so gentle yet she kills anyone on court. Badminton school player for more than 6 years yo.

The point is, it's amazingly sexy to have someone know exactly WHAT they're doing. It's just like MJ too, he's SO ohmygod sexy and hugely attractive (plus point: he's Chinese) when he started playing his Stratocaster.
*Screams*

Ah yes I guessed I have let my shallow side of me surface but well, we ALL have that in us (don't lie people!). Nowadays all frustrations gave way to... sleep (my ability to sleep really astound me). There were times when all I wanted to do was scream, scream, let my lungs fail and throw myself out the window Bollywood style but hey life's worth much more than being submissive to failure. Good way to vent it all is to shoot hoops or run for your life.

Next point: I need a basketball.

Some random things that happened past week. Like a call from Lynn at 0039 hours in the middle of the week, when the next day she has a History test to sit for. But it was really nice to fall asleep to her voice (no I don't have a thing for her if that's what you idiots are thinking). Probably talked for a couple of hours I hope to God she didn't flunk her paper. Or Mat texting me about 'continuing where we left of'. Biggest surprise was good friend Adel getting all jittery over this supposed hunk Ian. I hope she didn't exaggerate.

Yesterday was the 17th of July and coincidentally, I dreamt of The-One-Who's-Involved . SO scary.



God I think I've crossed the line and I don't see any way of turning back. Like how I used to shy away from my feelings yet now I wear it on my sleeves. And since my shyness was what held me back last time from being too open-minded and from being over the wall, now I have shed my inhibitions.

Now, I'm over.

ofblack&white
10:21 PM

It's Tuesday again hence it was time for soccer. There were quite a number (11 to be precise) SIM people coming to play and it's all good running, cursing, and all that tugging and pushing. One flung me to the net. And anyway the club's name is very... I don't know, plain? Stadio Women's FC (Zhong called it Studious Women's FC). I don't know about commitments, going to be fucking tough.

And oh yes, the point of this entry: One of the girls from the SIM team looked SO like someone I used to have a (rather embarrassing) crush on.
Ohmygod.


Something very disturbing (from a madrasah school no less)


Teacher: "I want your compasses to be screwed TIGHTLY, as tight as a virgin's!"


She said that to a secondary one class. How irresponsible!

ofblack&white
11:10 PM

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy

And being caught in between,
all you wish for and all you seen
And trying to find anything you can feel,
that you can believe in

May God's love be with you,
always.


I know I would apologise, if I could see your eyes.
'Cause when you showed me myself,
I became someone else.

But I was caught in between,
all you wish for and all you need
I picture you fast asleep
A nightmare comes
You can't keep awake...

'Cause if I find,
If I find my own way
How much will I find
you.

I don't know anymore
What it's for
I'm not even sure
If there is anyone in the sun
Will you help me to understand
'Cause I been caught in between,
all I wish for and all I need
Maybe you're not even sure what it's for
Anymore than me


May God's love be with you,
always.

ofblack&white
11:44 PM

And so I learned,
The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference.

And harbouring the emotion hate (verb: to dislike intensely and passionately) would only make me feel all het up and cranky, throwing the crassest words left right and centre.
So bad for my health.

And disappointment, it is not a choice, never a choice in life, when you have acquaintances and even friends who never fail to fail you, who amaze you by their magnitude of selfishness and laziness. Which brings about disappointment.
Really, don't know why I cared or bothered but that's just my problem isn't it?

Not a good week, not it.


Oh time doesn't really fly when you want it to. Anyway the past week was
NDP NE show with beautiful fireworks fanalove teaching going to the museum Hancock latenight movies at home with company soccer meeting my aunt and cousins for treat Harry Potter 1-7 dinner at Bugis GothamBuilding to visit Dante, Newton, Churchill and few others.


Oh Lord, if anyone tries to argue with me at this very moment they won't live to see the sun tomorrow.
I'm sorry.

ofblack&white
11:41 PM

As I was lecturing Tisya.



Tisya: I don't know if I should accept Yong Zao. I like him, but he's 197 kg! He cute face lah but fat! (I shall refrain from commenting on that, she's only 13 for God's sake)

Ili: If you feel that way then you shouldn't! What's the point of going for someone when you're half-hearted about it?! You don't and SHOULDN'T give him that hope that you truly like him. NO relationship should be started out of pity, no matter how long he waited, no matter how sincere. I don't think that's right because in a relationship you either give your all or you give nothing at all. You should never start something you aren't sure of. Wait until the right one comes along, the person you can love without tiring, smile without faking, and cry without restrain for. You don't need two hands to clap, you can clap against yourself or something. Means, bodoh, even if you have a one-sided relationship, I think it's better than you going into a half-hearted one.

Tisya: Speaking out for yourself huh?

Ili: (momentarily speechless and changed subject)

How scary their working-overtime minds are.


I need to sleep and nothing's working. Waiting for my train of thought to spiral down into sleepdom yet my train moves towards one direction only.

LE SIGH.

ofblack&white
1:17 AM

Ah the parents are back from Vietnam with ten thousand things. I QUITE miss them but on the other hand I quite missed my freedom. Besides the usual bits my parents gave me, Yasmin and Laila got me a pink baju kurung. Like how awesome?! Haha and Jamila gotten me a pretty mirror.

I feel quite lethargic today. My body clock is now set for 8 or 9 am max. It's virtually impossible to wake later than that. Hence - after yesterday's night cycling at ECP with Kat Weichun and Vincent which saw me sleeping only at 0330 hours - I had 5 hours of sleep, feeling a mixture of high and tiredness. Night cycling was good, starting at late tennish till 2. Love the lorry.


Anyway being a good friend, please click here http://smys.sloggi.com/user/Adelayeo to vote for my if-either-can't-sleep-we-call-each-other pal/buddy/friend/kawan/nu peng you, Adela Yeo Pei En so that she can represent Singapore in the international Sloggi competition (she'll be in lingerie just to warn you).
But PLEASE vote, a ten star preferably.

Talking about friends, another award for best-friend-for-life-and-after-life right now goes to Abdul Matin Rashid for being the one there, getting me out of my endless ruts without judging and most of all listening. He's not such a big asshole as I made him out to be. Haha and I have your back too babe. For all the emo nights we had (espesh for your case dreaming about C) and yes we wouldn't buckle, we wouldn't crumble, and most of all we don't let them hear our silent screams in the night.


There's so much to say but as usual the cliche that goes "but I can't find the words" totally applies.

"... in forgotten graveyards everywhere the dead will quietly bury the living and
you will tell me you love me
Tonight at noon."

ofblack&white
10:56 PM